Kirk meets Spock:
Hi dude! I have the emotional depth of a plank of wood. Would you like to see my super!killer!skillz at everything. Lets go chug a few bottles of beer and talk about tits like any derivative collage Jock. Ps, have you seen my little pink diary with glitter hearts that say 'Jim luvs pointy ears for ever'
Spock meets Kirk:
I find your strange human ways 58.2365478% disgusting, I have 0.254485874% ability to interact humans. I'm slowly dying on the inside and have 5.6482124487 self worth. I am not stoic due to having been able to lern to separate my emotions for my actions I am stolic because If I wasn't I'd be a puddle of emo tears on the floor (Tears that would be a solution of 20 parts water to 1 part salt)
Kirk and Spock go on mission. Super!jock!kirk single handedly saves the day. While Emo!quivering!Spock watches in awe. In the process he teaches the remaining vulcans about just how wrong the Vulcan methods/culture are. How they should be just like Kirk, irrelevant to sociological/physiological differences, etc. And just how awesome a total disrespect of anything is.
At the end Spock turns to Kirk and says....
"It is logical that we do the bad thing right now. Dada wants to ride your cock big boy."
Note: this may be an exaggeration/amalgamation of things that bug me.
And in other news, HI! yep, I'm still lurking :)